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'I’ section from "MuBet," a mutating poem. It changes
as I enter phrases and sentences alphabetically on an
ongoing basis.
John Mercuri Dooley

I actually do like this. I always expect the Fourth of July to be something.

I always think forests scare me but they don't. I am all the wrong clothes. I

asked why baby wipes were in the men's room. I beg you don't bite off the

spaghetti. I believe I can fly. I bet you can't resist. I bet you'll laugh if I

say mullet. I can imagine a reach around. I can insert a few days. I can see

through my new glasses. I can see you see my sickness. I cannot be

transcribed. I can't help being coy or is that something else. I can't keep

my head on the table. I can't wait till I get to the point. I can't wait to go

home and take off my clothes and poetry. I could be watching Harrison

Ford. I could but who. I could care less. I could have said that. I could go

on about sanity all day. I could why. I could write a book. I couldn't care

less. I cringe to admit it. I derive much meaning from homes and am often

quite unsatisfied. I didn't care about getting published. I do not believe in

Divine shit. I do not miss the higher cover charge at Meow Mix for queer

men. I don't care what it means. I don't care where your phone is. I don't

have much control. I don't like the thought of Concord grapes. I don't

think the word Nazi belongs in jokes. I don't think words that begin with b

very often. I don't think thought thinks it has to be kept up with. I don't

want to be a woman and then what. I don't want to make you sad but your

existence is nogrammatical. I doubt you would settle for less. I feel like

there are me bugs. I forgot that I was writing so it became something else.

I forgot what I was just about to say. I gave up poetry and want to write

jokes. I get embarrassed and want to be thought of. I guess it's genetic. I

had a friend who thought wasabi was guacamole. I had a friend who

would dance with me only if I said I wasn't. I had a hard boiled egg. I had

to choose a paint color. I hated my husband all day then he gave me six

thousand dollars. I have a hard time. I have been published you know. I

have no carrots for soup. I have so much fun. I have to wash the dishes. I

hope I don't become so self centered as to mangle my things. I hope you

come even though you don't like open mics. I hope you like boiled food. I

just wish exercising didn't take so long. I keep returning to my hands. I

knew a butchy dude who wore an apron everyone asked where are your

hairpins. I knew a gal who was a butch everyone asked her why she didn't

dust. I knew a guy who scratched his balls everyone said hey girlfriend. I

knew a guy who was a faggot everyone called him a pretty maggot. I

knew a guy with a little dick they cleared the dance floor. I knew a lovely

lady who licked nobody would eat. I knew an older lesbian who scratched

her balls everyone at Walmart said excuse me ma'am. I like anecdotes. I

like to read gay and dream she meant something different. I look at a

friends and think I love froth. I love Massachusetts. I love to be an asshole

and it gets you a decent price. I love to say my husband in mixed compay

my husband my husband. I loved colored dust. I made a lot of changes. I

may not be radical but think of what a country this would be if our

teachers were. I meant to like him. I might go see camouflage tomorrow. I

miss the days of radical feminists when everybody knew who they were. I

once knew of an executive who wore perfume. I read the remains of a car

bomb. I recognize her but she was the same thing. I said something. I saw

a guy walking out of an abandoned lot with blood coming from his nose. I

saw a pink hummer that's a lie. I say God help me a lot in the toilet. I say

shut up a lot to myself. I scared a prude. I seem to be a verb is a book. I

think I'm a shy big shot sometimes when I'm art. I think I'll make chicken

cutlets today. I think I've run out on me. I think she was in many ways. I

think she's a little off. I thought how could I resist. I try to suit my

husband's whimsy. I want to express but not necessarily myself. I want to

write a girl letter. I was talking. I wish everyone could believe. I wish

everyone would listen. I wish I had a flat chest. I wonder if Holly

Woodlawn is still in Hollywood. I wore size 36 to the gym with no belt. I

wore women's jeans at my wedding. I work with a woman who doesn't

recycle and has eight cats. I wouldn't recommend fisting because then you

have to walk around with something up your ass. I'd like to know a in

evey language. If Christ said that well. If God is a virgin what's a

diamond. If I played a retarded person. If I was handsome I wouldn't be

such a bitch. If I wasn't cute I wouldn't be so insecure. If I were multiple

versions. If I were wiser would I be doing this. I'm going to do what I'm

going to do it. If it was raining men would you water your plants. If it

wasn't called the moon what would it look like. If love is approximate

stop. If meditating depresses you stop. If non sequitirs annoy you it has

nothing to do with it. If only. If only Yves Saint Laurent could have

accepted his father. If there was no moon would you trust your astrologer.

If we all prefer hind quarters there won't be any left. If you have it written

down why are you doing it. If you get me in a fortune cookie frame me. If

you give it time will it stop. If you live in a sunny place by the shore oh

well. If you mean something by that you are a fool. If you take too much

the words will sink. If you think I'm easy I'm off in ten minutes. If you

think I'm clever you're not supposed to. If you think that drag is really you

take it off. If you think you have nothing to say. If you were a syllable

would you be in a noun. If you won't eat a pig why a cow. If you'll eat a

cow why won't you eat your dog. If your life makes sense batten down the

hatchet. If your life makes sense don't blame your parents. If your life

makes sense hide. If your life makes sense I'm sorry. If your life makes

sense I forgot what I was going to say. If your life makes sense there's

something wrong with your doctor. If your life makes sense you need to

get your money back. If you're depressed and your parents pay your rent

shoot yourself. If you're having a problem try a stapler. I'm gonna sit right

down and pretend I can fiddle. Ignorance is overwhelming. I'll never catch

up. I'll watch one. I'm a happy dandelion. I'm beginning to think I say

asshole a lot. I'm insulting. I'm looking forward to paint looking. I'm

losing muscle tone in my ass. I'm not going back to therapy let him call

me. I'm not going to say what this is. I'm not going to the gym it's

sprinkling. I'm not paying. I'm not really sure it's my ego. I'm not sure I'd

like to see female ejaculation but I'd like to try it. I'm not sure about z. I'm

not that horny so where does that leave me. I'm not your bubble. I'm

obviously not over head. I'm OK you're OK is a phrase from another era.

I'm on drugs. I'm predisposed to narrative chickens. I'm sick of reading.

I'm so excited to decide which movies to watch tonight maybe I'm too

strict with myself. I'm the only one with transparent flip flops. I'm

thinking of writing a novel about an acrobat throwing lasers. I'm too old

to wear my favorite shoes. I'm trying to be smarter. I'm waiting for my

eyeleashes to fall out. Imagine an SUV made of bushes. Imagine

cucumber. Imagine if daddy was a name of a pronoun. Imitate attention.

Impeach the Upper East Side but watch out for the furniture. In my copy

there was a missing period. In the boy bar nobody wants to know

anything. In the girl bar everyone wants to know your name. Infinity is so

cozy if you stop. Insane may as well. Intel is inside. Intense labor gives

value to piece work. Invention rejected its parents. Ipods are an eternity

with nonreplaceable batteries. Is art colored. Is collective thought. Is

embarrassment based on flimsy gender. Is hunger stealing. Is ice

imported. Is it really a bad thing for identity to get lost. Is marriage well.

Is miss an ism. Is neurology biological. Is open white. Is that your hair. Is

the building in which you are born there and if it does purposely. Is that

figurine you. Is the moon sexist. Is that Roma barking for pig cheeks. Is

there a the before Buddha. Is there anything wrong with the Orient. Is

there such as thing as a dirty negative. Is this all I have to do. Is this

stupid. Is this whole thing including this sentence. Is your father the way

you wanted him. Islands live in a glass. It all looks like stew. It cannot be

saved is a story. It clearly said word but I read dessert. It doesn't matter

what you call it's still. It feels good to write narrative sentences watching

collapse. It feels good watching alone. It feels so hot. It has to be at least

four o'clock. It is everyone's business that people cover their faces in

public. It is not pointless to matter. It is poetry. It might be a hairspray

reflection. It might be easier to be way out there. It was a very thin closet.

It wouldn't be the end of the world but I'd rather not be dead. It's about

time. It would be fun to be in style. It's all about me he said to the ant. It's

all about your look. It's been clear for days and I haven't seen the coast.

It's easy for you to laugh you have beautiful hair. It's easy to be funny

when you're an insult. It's easy to say you want a family if you have one.

It's impossible to keep up with thought. It's no accident what meaning was

chosen. It's no light it's just something. It's none of your business that he's

strapping. It's not goodbye it's tonight. It's not like they were just

invented. It's not wasted if you don't. It's OK. It's really very simple said

the farmer to the philosopher. It's the same thing everyday. It's time for a

change. It's time to air it out. It's your prerogative as a queen to be a bitch.

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